a praise chorus

i don't normally listen to jimmy eat world, but thank you ipod, for something that resonated with me today.

for whatever reason, i'm not going to question it, i'm feeling really good today. good...what a trite, overused word. i teach SAT prep classes, i should have a more extensive vocabulary. i feel wonderful, spectacular, peaceful, giddy...okay, enough adjectives.

i still have all the same problems that i had yesterday, but i've made several proactive moves in an attempt to alleviate my situation, which is reassuring, even though nothing has changed. at least i feel like i have some semblance of power in a powerless situation, and i asked for help, which isn't easy for me. i figure since i'm feeling delightful today, i'd relish it and embrace the practice of mindfulness.

too much of my life has been spent on worrying about past mistakes, or wondering what the future will bring, instead of just living wisely and presently in the moment. i've gotten much better at this, to the chagrin of some of my friends, because it's almost impossible for me to plan anything that happens more than a week in the future.

i've shut off my brain's ability to think past the next few days (even when it comes to school and goals), so the accusations and insinuations about my "expectations" that other people have foisted upon me couldn't be further from the truth. i'm doing my best to experience the day i'm in. it may be bad or good, but for every bay day, i try to learn something, and for every good day, i am grateful for what i have been given.

buddhists believe that life is basically misery...sadly, that's what drew me to it...however, an individual's goal is to identify what is causing the misery, decide how to get rid of it, and then banish it from his world. still working on that...anyway, learning from today is key.

one thing that i took away from the pain management program that has been immensely helpful, and changed both my perspective and my ability to handle stress, is the art of breathing. it's so easy, and something that i think gets overlooked 99% of the time. the best thing you can do to feel calm when you're overwhelmed, stressed, or anxious is to breathe.

i mean think about it, what is your breathing like when you're freaking out, having a panic attack, or ready to rip someone's head off? not too slow or soothing.

it sounds like a cliche, but it works. if you focus on breathing, slowly, evenly, in and out, you slow down mentally and physiologically. i've had days where i literally thought about my breathing for the entire day. every time i'd start to panic, i'd just focus on inhaling and exhaling, and not letting anything else in.

this is my praise for today: a day of serenity and pleasure. just take a deep breath; things will be better.