smells like teen spirit

i keep hoping, or at the very least thinking, that people will mature over time. you'd think that the petty, gossipy behavior of teenagers wouldn't continue for the entire lifespan, but that doesn't seem to be the case. too much of life seems to be based on popularity and ass kissing, instead of ability and merit.

i'm trying to avoid this crap, as well as the people involved, as much as possible, but sometimes it's unavoidable. what is extremely maddening is when the situation involves me or something i'm involved in, and i'm forced to be annoyed. can't we all just grow up a *little* and stop acting on our insecure need to be liked by the "popular crowd" and accepted by all?

the fact is, not everyone is going to like you. and a lot of people in this world are stupid and not worth your time, anyway. and this whole social class issue (among groups where it's totally unnecessary and ridiculous) needs to stop. yes, there are different classes in our society, but i don't think a group of five people needs a hierarchy and someone to put in the corner on a regular basis...or maybe they do.

another thing i thought would go disappear as i got older is the tendency for women to throw their friends under the bus when a boy comes around. i'm in my 30s, people, and have friends who are also in their 30s; these dumb girls blow me off, cancel plans, and don't even make time for me. however, they *will* spend every free minute they have, and sometimes every day of the week with some boy (not even a boyfriend, just a potential).

totally. stupid.

yet another case of insecurity and an exaggerated need to be loved. how about loving yourself, taking care of your friends, and realizing that having a boy in your life is *not* the end all, be all?
rearranging your life and clinging isn't going to make him more interested, keep him from straying, or ensure that the relationship forms and continues.

if anything, you look desperate and lonely, and like you have NO friends, because if you *did*, wouldn't you spend *some* time with them?

who do you think is going to be there for you when your heart gets broken? your friends.

and who will have most likely broken your heart? the boy.

but no, keep doing what you're doing. good luck.

are you stupid or completely lacking in self-respect?

i really, really try to be a good person and treat others the way they want to be treated, but this issue with a guy i recently met is causing entirely too much trouble for me, and there's no escaping it since he lives 100 feet away.

i'm so annoyed and so frustrated, despite my attempts to let it go and take deep, zen-like breaths. breathe...breathe...breathe.

he keeps calling, i don't answer. he keeps texting, i don't answer. he finds out where i'm working, and (i guess he already had plans to be there, let's hope) tries to find me at work...and when he can't...calls, texts, then calls again.

also, he had some crappy, POS phone last week. now, all of the sudden he has an iphone. guess who else has an iphone? ME! coincidence? i think not.

i had originally agreed to go on a date, but he was so smothering, aggravating, and defensive in the first 12 hours that we talked, that i told him i couldn't go out with him because things should *not* be that hard when you first meet someone.

i finally called him tonight because ignoring him isn't working and i'm about to assign him his own ringer, the theme from psycho. i told him that i have given him *no* indication that i wanted to talk to, or receive texts from, him and that he has inundated me with both for the past week.

i was calm and to the point...and he pulled this wounded victim routine. was i blunt? yes. rude? no. but for the love of buddha, what does it take for the guy to get the picture?

and what a freaking drama queen. after i said my piece, he was like, "fine, i'll pretend that i don't even know you!" is that really necessary? can't you just act like the 42 year old man that you are, and have a shred of maturity?

mind you, my psycho sensor went off when, the day after i met him, he joked about stalking me. um, what? not a good thing to say to a girl that you like, who you've been supposedly wanting to talk to for a while, and who lives within spitting distance.

i will now be watching my car with an eagle eye in case of potential keying, and sleeping with a baseball bat under my bed in case of potential intrusion. at least you will know who to arrest when they find my headless corpse in some creepy sex dungeon.