just one day...

i would like to have one day where i'm not in some kind of physical, mental, or emotional pain. i ran this morning because i'm *supposed* to be exercising. it's good for depression, and i'm trying to get rid of the weight that my last medication caused me to gain.

due to a horrible experience a few weeks ago, i've been eating before i run, *every* time. but for some reason, i once again have a horrible stomach ache, one that nothing takes away.

i'm dizzy, nauseous, my mouth tastes like metal, and i just want to go to bed. i don't know if it's because i ran too far, or because i'm also in the throes of a fun female ritual, but i've been miserable all day.

if it's not medication that's making me ill, it's the sciatica in my left side, or a migraine, or some other ailment. i'm not that old, and i really don't think i'm asking for much: just one day without needing some kind of medication, other than the 25 already prescribed to me. i feel like i'm falling apart, and i'm doing everything i can to prevent it.

this is so frustrating, especially since what is making me sick (exercise, medicine), is what is supposed to be making me better...